I don't exist.

I guess I should do an introduction or something. I'm not very good at those ... so I won't. You'll learn about me as you read my daily (weekly?...monthly?) rants. K? K!

So in Child Psychology yesterday we learned about Identities and somewhere in between texting J., talking to Tad on BBM and browsing Craigslist I realized I have no identity. Oh shit! I don't fucking exist. Let me explain:

There are 4 stages in developing an identity and they are:
1. Identity Diffusion - occurs when there is neither an identity crisis or commitment

2. Identity Foreclosure - when a person has made a commitment without attempting identity exploration.

3. Identity Moratorium - is the status of a person who is actively involved in exploring different identities, but has not made a commitment.

4. Identity Achievement - occurs when an individual has gone through an exploration of different identities and made a commitment to one.

I have not achieved one gotdamn Identity. Okay maybe my sexual preference identity but even that's iffy (let's not forget my secret crush on Snoop). Dammint I'm 21, aren't I supposed to know who I am already? It saddens me that I don't :(. I'm like an immigrant in my own life. I don't belong here!

Blah so I'm being melodramatic... I really am annoyed though. I think I'm going to do a monthly Identity Status Update just to see how things are moving along.

April 2008 Identity Status

Ethnic Identity

Achievement (as if I had a choice lol)

Sexual Identity

Achievement

Sexual Preference Identity

Achievement?

Relationship Identity

Moratorium

Education Idenity

Moratorium

Social Identity

Moratorium

Career Idenity

Moratorium

Ok moving right along... next order of business!

NYC and I have a love/hate relationship. Now I understand why women in abuseive relationships say "But I love him". I really do. NYC is dirty, expensive, overcrowded, and getting worse by the minute but I'm still here. Don't get me wrong I often fantasize about leaving this city but can I ever really move to Atlanta GA, Tulsa OK, Baltimore MD, Newport News VA, Houston TX, etc? I often find myself actually looking at apartment complexes and Craigslist job posting on the forementioned cities like I'm threatening NYC. "If you don't get your act together I'm leaving you! I mean it this time!". Yeah ok. Ain't happenin. :\

I think I'm going to do a little work (not a lot just enough to keep me off the unemployment line). I'll be back.. maybe.